Lessons in Potty Training

I'm convinced that my children are trying to make me insane one marble at a time. I'm in the middle of potty training my youngest daughter Ann. I thought I was done, but she got herself all kinds of constipated and we are having pooping problems. As in, she likes to poop anywhere but the potty. This weekend, my kids were allegedly napping in their room. When Leigh comes running into the family room and announces that Ann pooped on her dresser. I took the camera since I've decided that this must be a moment that I'll find funny one day. Maybe. Doubtful. Oh yeah, that's right, I'm going to torture Ann with this story for YEARS to come! (insert evil laugh here)

 

I cannot believe that my daughter decided to climb up on the dresser and pooped instead of going in the potty! Well that's not true, I can totally believe it, I'm not even all the surprised by it in reality. But it makes me nuts all the same.

 

I'm not really sure if I'm doing the right thing with her accidents. I just take her to the bathroom and tell her that she needs to go on the potty. It's not really sinking in though, but I know from experience that you cannot force these things. You can try every potty training method under the sun and a kid will still refuse to potty train if they're not ready. In fact, it can make it worse to try to force the issue. And I can choose between yelling and giving myself a heart attack or being calm and acting like it doesn't bother me all while yelling/screaming/and throwing a tantrum on the inside.

 



 

So keep it up kid, you're giving me material to tease and torment you with for the rest of your life. The good news is that I get to do this another time with my son. Hopefully by then I'll be an expert at potty training. (If that doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what will.) 

My Kids Are Doing Nothing

I have three kids and this fall they are doing nothing in the way of sports. Why? Because I'm busy. We have community group that meets once a week, I'm President of a non-profit group, and I'm in MOPS. I really don't need to add sports to this mix, especially since my oldest is FOUR YEARS OLD!

And for some reason I'm being informed by my sisters that this makes me a bad mom. Oh of course they don't come right out and say bad mom. (because that would be rude and my family likes the passive aggressive approach) They are saying "but they need to do sports. They need to be part of a team and exercise. They will miss out on what all the other 3 and 4 year olds are doing. They'll be behind next year" Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

That's right, I'm getting crap from not putting my 4 and 3 year old in sports. And since when does every three and four year old do sports? Give me a break, we can skip a season of sports and really in my opinion skip a few years and we'll be just fine! I highly doubt that my daughter is going to miss out on getting a softball scholarship because she didn't play t-ball when she was 4.

My kids are doing nothing this fall and I love it! No rushing to get to t-ball practice during the week, no Saturday games, and no trying to figure out how I can be on two fields at once with multiple kids in sports. Leigh did t-ball last year and I can tell you that it was adorable but not a life alternating experience. I get my Saturdays this fall to spend time with my family, you know when we aren't going to birthday parties.

I cannot figure out why so many parents over schedule their kids. My sister in laws kid's schedule makes me tired just looking at it. They are doing 4 activities each this fall. (that's 4 kids in 4 activities) Someone has something everyday, multiple times a day. That would stress me out so much that I would have a nervous breakdown. But she loves it and somehow manages to make it work. I must have missed that life skill because I cannot handle that many balls in the air.

Now let me be clear, I was in sports all through school. I think they are very important, and that you learn valuable life skills by playing sports. I want my kids to play sports, just not this year when our schedule is already full. Because while I think sports are important, spending time together as a family is much more important. Having a mom who isn't stressed out is more important than sports too.

We are doing nothing this fall, and I proudly stand by my decision. I'm going to enjoy the time off, not to mention the extra money I'll have from skipping a season.

Back to School

OK confession time.

I am so beyond, over the moon excited that school is starting again!

Man that feels good.

I know that moms are supposed to cry and get all sad about school starting, but I am so happy. Only my oldest is in school and it's only part time, but man is it a nice break! I love getting to spend time with my two youngest kiddos. And since it's easier to do things with two kids than three, we do fun stuff while Leigh is at school.

And really lets face it, once less kid is a HUGE break. And I would be a big fat liar if I said I wasn't looking forward to the break. I didn't realize how much of a break having Leigh in school in the morning was, until summer hit and there was no more school.

What can I say, I will be doing cartwheels on Tuesday on the first day of school. There will be moms there who are crying, but not me. Maybe when the youngest goes to school I'll shed a few tears. Until then, I'm going to enjoy the break!

I Wish I Knew What to Say

My sister and I have a crappy relationship. We can get along as long as we stick to superficial topics and I don't give her my opinion on things. Even when asked, I never give my opinion since it ALWAYS backfires on me. In all fairness her opinion normally pisses me off and I pretend that one of the kids needs me so I can get off the phone. She lives across the country so I almost never see her in real life. And if I'm being really honest, I like that we don't see each other since it ALWAYS ends in a fight.

So there are many times that I wish I could say something to her, but I keep my mouth shut to keep the peace. Normally after we finish talking it's over and I don't really think about it again.

But the last conversation I had with her I cannot shake. She sent her daughter out this summer to see her cousins and I had some professional pictures taken. I sent her the link this week and she called me to complain. I was not all surprised to hear her complain since my middle child refused to smile. But she was calling to ask why her daughter was in a ponytail since she looks terrible in a ponytail.

Me - Um, she was in a ponytail because she asked her Grandma to put it in a ponytail. And I think she looks cute.

My sister went on to complain about how terrible her daughter (age 6) looks in a ponytail and that it makes her head look too big. And that she's told her daughter that it's not the most flattering hairstyle on her.

REALLY? She's six and adorable. My youngest daughter sometimes sports 6 ponytails since she just makes up a number in the morning and I go along with it. It's hair, who cares? And you should see the picture of her with 5 ponytails, it' my favorite so far.

I'm glad that my niece wasn't there to hear her mom rant about how terrible she looks in her favorite hairstyle. But I worry about what she does hear. In all fairness, I don't know what she says to her. For all I know she just complains to me and gets it out of her system. But in the back of my mind, I cannot shake the feeling that she critizes her daughter too much. And that worries me since I still hear my mom saying that my shoulders look too manly in spaghetti straps whenever I try on a shirt or dress with spaghetti straps. And then I think I'm ugly in it and I put it back. Childhood issues party of one.

So what should I do? I don't want to upset her, and really I'm not there to see what is happening first hand. How do you say to your sister - you know you really shouldn't criticize your daughter's appearance, you'll give her a complex? I'm pretty sure that would do over as well as me shaving my head and entering a beauty contest.

I'm Trying to Remind Myself

I've been a stay at home mom for almost 5 years and I've never regretted my decision to quit my job until this week. I am having the week from hell and I'm so beyond frustrated that I'm ready to quit this whole stay at home mom gig.

I've never been envious of working moms before. Oh sure I've thought about how nice it would be to have lunch with co-workers or have a legit reason to get dressed in the morning. But I've never actually thought about going back to work as a real possibility. When I quit my job, I told everyone that I was retiring and that I wouldn't be back. Two weeks ago, I couldn't even fathom going back to work when my youngest hits school.

But today I'm dreaming of my life as a working mom and so......

• I'm trying to remind myself that this is a phase and that this too shall pass.
• I'm trying to remind myself that school starts soon and even though only one kid is in school part time, it will be a break.
• I'm trying to remind myself that I spent tens of thousands of dollars on infertility treatments. And that there was a time that I was broken hearted over not having any children instead of being overwhelmed by having three kids.
• I'm trying to remind myself that this is James' busy time and that he won't be working these long hours much longer.
• I'm trying to remind myself that I don't really want to work and that life will return to normal again.
• I'm trying to remember the babies that didn't live and how empty those losses made me feel. It's not really helping me feel less overwhelmed, but it does make me grateful for the three that did live.

I'm typing this in my daughters' room since they are refusing to nap this week unless I sit in here making playtime impossible. My oldest is sleeping and the little one is fighting her nap. They look so peaceful and sweet right now. My little innocent girls who fill my heart with so much love that it seems impossible to me now that they are this frustrating when they are awake.

This too shall pass until then, I'm trying to remind myself.

Potty Training Fun

I'm in the middle of potty training my daughter Ann. It's going pretty well considering how well it went with the other two. I keep wishing for a child that trains herself, but I don't think that is ever going to happen. At least not for me.

In my effort to potty train her I'll tell her when I'm going potty so she can join me. I don't know why really since somehow they always find me there. What is it with kids? If you want to pee or talk on the phone, it signals them to become needy creatures.

Last week was one of those times where Ann came with me to the potty. And this may be TMI, but it was hilarious to me!

Ann "Mommy going poo poo or pee pee?"
Mommy "Mommy is going poop."

Ann then goes to the back of the toilet and looks in and says "Mommy's putting a lot of poop in the potty. Do I like to eat poop? Naaahhhhhh! Poo poo isn't very tasty!

And I am laughing my butt off! It does make me wonder how that kid knows that poop isn't very tasty. I'm glad that my little one gave me something to laugh about that morning since about 5 minutes later she pooped in her panties.

Potty Training is not for wimps!

Wants Versus Needs

I got a great reminder yesterday from my husband in the form of my own words.

Doesn't it suck just a little when that happens?

We are in the process of declaring bankruptcy since we lost a lawsuit. I'll just take a little timeout to say how lame I think it is that anyone can sue you, even when said person is lying. And you lose when you cannot afford to defend yourself. To avoid payment all you have to do is file for bankruptcy. What a stupid system! But I'm glad we don't have to pay a company that owes us money $20,000 so I'll take the stupid system.

In order to file for bankruptcy, we need to be current on our mortgage. We are 3 months behind, which isn't too bad all things considered. We decided to sell my husband's truck since he doesn't really need it. We listed the truck for $7,800 and knew that it needed to sell fast, as in three weeks fast. We got an offer for $6,800 and I was bummed. But James wanted to take it.

The $6,800 would get us current on our mortgage and we would have some leftover to put into savings. That account we drained to pay our attorney and sadly has zero dollars in it. But I wanted what our truck was worth. And then James said this to me....

"You always say that God provides for our needs not our wants and that we need to understand the difference. Well the $6,800 will provide for our needs."

Damn that man is smart. He knew exactly what to say to get me on board. So last night we sold the truck and everything is on track so we can file. And my savings account is a few thousand dollars richer. And I'm not upset that we didn't get what we wanted, because we have what we need.