I'm Trying to Remind Myself

I've been a stay at home mom for almost 5 years and I've never regretted my decision to quit my job until this week. I am having the week from hell and I'm so beyond frustrated that I'm ready to quit this whole stay at home mom gig.

I've never been envious of working moms before. Oh sure I've thought about how nice it would be to have lunch with co-workers or have a legit reason to get dressed in the morning. But I've never actually thought about going back to work as a real possibility. When I quit my job, I told everyone that I was retiring and that I wouldn't be back. Two weeks ago, I couldn't even fathom going back to work when my youngest hits school.

But today I'm dreaming of my life as a working mom and so......

• I'm trying to remind myself that this is a phase and that this too shall pass.
• I'm trying to remind myself that school starts soon and even though only one kid is in school part time, it will be a break.
• I'm trying to remind myself that I spent tens of thousands of dollars on infertility treatments. And that there was a time that I was broken hearted over not having any children instead of being overwhelmed by having three kids.
• I'm trying to remind myself that this is James' busy time and that he won't be working these long hours much longer.
• I'm trying to remind myself that I don't really want to work and that life will return to normal again.
• I'm trying to remember the babies that didn't live and how empty those losses made me feel. It's not really helping me feel less overwhelmed, but it does make me grateful for the three that did live.

I'm typing this in my daughters' room since they are refusing to nap this week unless I sit in here making playtime impossible. My oldest is sleeping and the little one is fighting her nap. They look so peaceful and sweet right now. My little innocent girls who fill my heart with so much love that it seems impossible to me now that they are this frustrating when they are awake.

This too shall pass until then, I'm trying to remind myself.